drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
