Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
