Apparently you make a good broom.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
