Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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