i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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