dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
