Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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