well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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