found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
