Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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