I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
