escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
