Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
