She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
