farters have to be the big spoon...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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