My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
