Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
this will be a night to untag.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
