So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
