you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize