Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
