unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
