I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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