Don't you send me to vm
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize