i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize