Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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