Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
