You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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