PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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