Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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