I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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