im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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