Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
