This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
