Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
