You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
