i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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