Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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