my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i've created a new STD.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
