If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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