Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
