well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
