There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
4 words: hood of his car
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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