remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
