I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
