Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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