she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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