Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize