She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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