I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
