We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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