Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My pussy is not your playground.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
