You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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