How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
