That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
