That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
