so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
