I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
