from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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