my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize