Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
