I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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