I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
