Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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